Fueling the Fires of Passion
by: Alan Stafford

What do you do when your marriage becomes routine? For many of us, the everyday routine of work, child care, and bill paying extends to our lovemaking with our spouses. But, no matter how long you’ve been married, there are plenty of ways to spice up your love life. Let’s start in the bedroom – the hub of hubba hubba!

Gentlemen, start your engines

· Decorate your bedroom with pictures of yourself and your partner. Choose pictures that bring back happy memories of times you had as a couple. For instance, your wedding, a special date, or a vacation. Avoid hanging pictures of relatives: family pictures belong in the family room. It’s a real turn-off to see your grandparents and in-laws scowling at you while you’re naked and ready for romance.

· Speaking of mood: mood lighting can work wonders for a bland bedroom. Soft lighting helps to warm the atmosphere and it makes people look sexier too. You want to be able to see what you’re doing, without blinding your partner or having to grope around clumsily in the dark. Install a dimmer switch for a bedside lamp. Some people like to buy black lights (UV light bulbs available at Lowe's or Home Depot) because the bulbs create the appearance of a sexy tan on your bodies.

· Roses, orchids and other scented flowers can fill your room with romance. Scented candles-especially lavender and pumpkin-are a type of aromatherapy that many people find arousing.

· Lock you door! If you don’t have a lock, get one. It’s almost impossible to lose yourself in the moment if you’re worried that you will be found out any minute by an intruding child.

Ladies, start his engine

Now that the bedroom is ready for action, it’s time to use it! Ladies, sometimes it’s best to take charge and turn him on for a change. Why should he have to instigate everything? Here are a few tips to get his motor running.

· Make the first move and continue to direct the action. Men get tired of having to call the plays all the time. Having a woman take charge will be something out of a fantasy for him.

· Arrange a night out, but keep your plans a secret. What could make your man feel more special than to have his loved one plan and pay for an intimate evening together?

Another way to show your partner that he is desired is to play up the little things.

· Leave little love notes in his lunch box and on his pillow. His coworkers might give him some grief at first. But, every other man will be wishing his wife left notes for him.

· Demonstrate a bit more affection in public. No need to embarrass him or make him feel uncomfortable. But mini massages, kisses on the cheek and toying with his hair are ways to let him feel that he is desired. Let the world know you’re in love. Let the world - and your man – know that you just can’t keep your hands off him. That’s a real ego boost for a man. He’ll appreciate it and feel flattered.

· Dress up once in a while. Toss off the flannel and turn up the glamour. Strut your stuff and remind him how beautiful you really are. When you were dating, you dressed to impress and to attract. Dress tonight like you dressed when you were dating

Every couple has their own ways of showing affection. Also, every couple needs to be comfortable with new ways of demonstrating romantic gestures. So, try some of these suggestions. See which ones work best for you-and for him. Doing the things you did when you wanted to get married might just be the things that help you stay married. Turn back the romance clock, and turn on the fun.

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Dr. Alan Stafford, Relationship Results Coach I help Singles and Couples build relationships that work www.relationshipsuccessexperts.com Click here to ask Alan a question about your biggest relationship issue http://relationshipsuccessexperts.com/askalan.htm Get our free newsletter for relationship tips and advice http://relationshipsuccessexperts.com/subscribe.html ©2005 Alan Stafford/Relationship Success Experts
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